ENDEHU
Contact

Hello, I'm

Endre Kiss

Senior Cloud Enchanter

PHP, API & Beverage Wholesale and Retail Specialist

Botched AI websites, 12–18 beers a day, and legal cases generated against myself.

View Projects Get in Touch

Home office only, as I am under house arrest for foul language on TikTok. The prosecutor is currently asking for 6 years in the indictment.

Endre Kiss
Soproni
Alsópolcos italok
Kozel
Borivók Bora
15+
Years of Bodging
1 year
ChatGPT
5+
Ongoing Legal Cases
6 months
On Remand
70M HUF
In Debt

Services

Specialized solutions for complex web systems

Safe destruction of working PHP systems

I take over stable, business-critical PHP applications. I spend three days reproducing the bug, map the contents of the fridge along the way, break a few parts that used to work, and ship the highest-risk fix to production first — preferably on a Friday at 17:00 — then plan my next job.

Legacy PHPSpaghetti code.innerHTMLconsole.log
  1. 1Dragging out onboarding
  2. 2Ignoring the risks
  3. 3Skipping the tests
  4. 4Friday deployment
  5. 5Dismissal

Relevant experience

  • Maintaining high-traffic systems at superReal, where I got my first task in the third month.
  • Building a covid application at screencode, on pirated software, alongside covid-denying posts.
  • Complex trading modules in the CodeIgniter 4 system at GVS Austria, right up to the dismissal.
  • Four days at Beko, followed by a transphobia accusation against the company.

API & System Integration with ChatGPT while drunk

Implementing, stabilizing, and testing data flows between systems. From REST endpoints to complex middleware solutions.

REST APIGraphQLMiddlewareWebhooks

Laravel / PHP Modernization with ChatGPT while drunk

Debugging, maintaining, and gradually refactoring legacy web applications. Secure modifications and performance optimization.

LaravelSymfonyPHP 8Refactoring

Vue.js Full-Stack Development with ChatGPT while drunk

Building responsive components, pages, and modules connected to PHP/API backends. Modern full-stack approach.

Vue.js 3TypeScriptViteSPA

E2E Testing & Stabilization with ChatGPT while drunk

Covering critical business processes with Playwright tests. Backend and integration testing with PHPUnit and JUnit.

PlaywrightPHPUnitE2ECI/CD

Workflow Automation with ChatGPT while drunk

Assessing and automating recurring administrative processes. Reducing manual work and improving operational efficiency.

AutomationCRMReportsIntegration

Analysis of Nudist Photos for Tourism Purposes with no pants on while drunk

Professional review of footage from holiday destinations, strictly against tourism criteria.

TourismImage AnalysisSite SurveyExpert Opinion

New service

Personalised Grabovoi numbers for your water

A separate machine on a separate site. Enter your name, your star sign and how many beers you have had, and it prints the sequence to stick on your bottle. Distilled water preferred.

Water programmingGrabovoi numbersDistilled waterBottle label
Open h2o.endrekiss.com

Featured Projects

Real-world solutions for enterprise and agency clients

SoDI Automata
Personal project

SoDI Automata

A machine that works out a personalised Grabovoi sequence for your water and prints the bottle label. Three languages, one man.

Vue 3TypeScriptPixel artWater programming
Sodifórum
Personal project

Sodifórum

Built so my fans (and at most five trolls) can stay in touch with me and we can discuss the topics of the day.

PHPHTML5jQuery
Sodipedia
Personal project

Sodipedia

Plenty of false information about me circulates online — every article collected here is true.

MediaWiki 1.35.4

Professional Experience

25 stations in 22 years across Hungary, Germany, and Austria

2026.07.31 – Present

Water Programmer

SoDI Automata

I issue personalised Grabovoi sequences for water. I still do the live streams alongside it.

Újszász, Hungary
2025.11.07 – Present

TikTok Live Streamer

Self-employed

I have been living off TikTok live streams since I was released.

Újszász, Hungary
2025.05.07 – 2025.11.07

Pre-trial Detention

TEK / Prison Service

The TEK counter-terrorism unit took me away on 7 May 2025, and I was held on remand until 7 November 2025.

Hungary
2024.07.15

Developer

Ishap GmbH

A brief, single-day episode in the middle of the year.

Vienna, Austria
2023.03 – 2023.09

Full-Stack Developer

Solarys Software GmbH

Communication infrastructure for water rescue and fire services, alongside morning beer videos. Released after probation, officially until 31.12.2023.

Götzis / remote, Austria
2022.11 – 2023.01

Full-Stack Developer

GVS Austria e.U.

Dismissed over slow work and a feud with the boss. Drunk streams from the office in the meantime.

Vienna, Austria
2022.11.15 – 2022.11.23

Developer

EFS Consulting / GreenToGo

Eight days. The company supplied a reference letter on the way out.

Vienna, Austria
2022.10.01 – 2022.10.17

Developer

Nic.at

Two and a half weeks, dismissed while still on probation.

Vienna, Austria
2022.08.23 – 2022.08.26

Developer

Beko

Four days. Dismissed over the video activity, followed by a transphobia accusation against the company.

Vienna, Austria
2022.08.17

Contracted Developer

Osztrák Belügyminisztérium

Failed the security screening, dismissed before day one.

Vienna, Austria
2022.07.18

Developer

CORS GmbH

A one-day employment.

Wels, Austria
2022.06

Developer

Atos IT

One month. The company laptop was left on the tram, then reported as stolen.

Vienna, Austria
2022.01 – 2022.03

Full-Stack Developer

Vitalakademie / Engel Learn GmbH

A long drawn-out onboarding phase, ending with moving into the office.

Linz, Austria
2021.07 – 2021.12

Developer

EBCONT enterprise GmbH

Dismissal, followed by drunk streams in company-branded clothing.

Linz, Austria
2020.12 – 2021.07

Web Developer

screencode GmbH

Building a covid application alongside covid-denying and anti-vaccine posts, on pirated software.

Linz, Austria
2020.11.27

Developer

Partner Bank

A zero-day employment, with no actual work performed.

Linz, Austria
2020.09 – 2020.10

eMarketing Developer

Reichl und Partner eMarketing

Three weeks. Officially economic reasons, in reality the code quality.

Linz, Austria
2018.01 – 2020.07

Full-Stack Developer

EsPresto AG

The longest stretch. Bringmeister broke off citing an audit, and it ended in dismissal.

Berlin, Germany
2016.11 – 2017.11

Backend Developer

DefShop GmbH

Hospitalised with chickenpox; a new developer took the seat in the meantime.

Berlin, Germany
2016.01 – 2016.10

Backend Developer

superReal GmbH

The first full 8-hour-a-day employment. The first task arrived in the third month.

Hamburg, Germany
2014.04 – 2014.12

Contributor

Gallery Nomad

A few hours a week on Andrea Kővári’s failed project.

Berlin, Germany
2011.07 – 2015.11

Creative Associate

Groteszk Kreatív Társulat

Part-time creative work.

Budapest, Hungary
2010.04 – 2011.06

Contributor

Lundart

A few hours of work a week.

Budapest, Hungary
2008.09 – 2009.06

Network Administrator

„12 karátos” Alapítványi Iskola

Part-time staring at network configurations, a few hours a week.

Budapest, Hungary
2003.08 – 2008.07

Contributor

Vidék Média

A few hours a week contributing at a media company.

Budapest, Hungary

Studies

28 semesters across five institutions

No diploma available YET

10 semesters

ELTE

University programme
Expelled
6 semesters

Corvinus

University programme
I left without a diploma
2 semesters

University of Horticulture

University programme
Abandoned
4 semesters

CISCO

Vocational training
Abandoned
6 semesters

OKJ

Vocational training
Abandoned

Languages

GermanA2 (Basic)
EnglishA few words at most
HungarianB2 (Upper intermediate)

Driving Licence

2023–2024, five failed road tests

No driving licence available either

122+
driving hours
5
failed road tests
1.4–1.5M HUF
spent
1 year
driving ban
Failed road tests
  1. 12023.12.01after 96 hours
  2. 22023.12.20after 110 hours, over in 6 minutes
  3. 32024.01.22after 118 hours
  4. 42024.02.23after 1,256,000 HUF
  5. 52024.03.13after 122 hours

The psychological aptitude assessment failed in June 2024 — the stated reason was the "risk of adjustment difficulties". Banned from driving for one year.

Code review

Client feedback on a delivered piece of work

Comments on the code 12
  • 7-second page load, 5–6 of it the GraphQL request — with no loading indicator
  • Links are not clickable
  • Images missing from the detail view, although the request included them
  • “null” and “undefined” showing up in the interface
  • String concatenation instead of template literals
  • Mixed quote styles, uneven code style
  • Spaghetti code in a single file
  • .innerHTML instead of React
  • No package.json, no npm
  • The GraphQL query assembled by string concatenation, without a library
  • No error handling anywhere
  • Console logging left in
Job interview
  • Did not understand the immutability of Java strings
  • Did not know the Spring IoC/DI patterns, despite claiming to
  • Struggled for 40 minutes with a simple “find the missing number” task
  • Could not solve the second one, then pasted in a Google result
“The stated experience and salary expectation do not match the professional knowledge.”

Let's Create!

I am taking a break at the moment and am not accepting new clients. Maybe tomorrow, after the cleaning and the shave.

I cannot issue invoices and bank transfer is not possible either, because my accounts are under seizure. But I gladly accept TikTok gifts and beer donations.

Verbal contract preferred.

Find me on
5000 Szolnok, Dózsa György út 1/a